Twas the Twilight Before Christmas
by Lady-Lannie-Queen-of-Goblins
Summary: Some fandoms shouldn't mix, especially when one has a needy King that doesn't like to share. A complete crackfic that is also serving as my holiday story for the LFFL challenge. Not recommended for obsessed Twilight fans. (See Author's note before reading)
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This is pure crack and done for fun. Yes I'm picking at a fandom I do not like and I don't consider it a crossover as other than the mention of the title and a few details from the series I'm not using anything from those... books. If you are a fan of the Twilight series this isn't a fic you may want to read if you don't take kindly to others disliking it. This is also my holiday story for the LFFL monthly challenge. Chapter 1 starts off with unknown characters, but fear not our beloved King shows up by the end and the plot should become evident by then. Chapter 2 will be the one filled with jokes, crazy goblins, and a very confused scribe. Only planning on 3 chapters so we'll see what happens.**

 **Disclaimer:** **I don't own Jareth, (wish I did) Sarah, or any other character from Labyrinth. They belong to Henson and everyone responsible for creating the movie. I write this solely for entertainment and stress relief.**

"I don't have time to read." Amanda argued as her friend tried to shove the book in her hands again. "I have my own stories to finish. The voices in my head are already yelling at me for not working on my books."

Giving her friend a look of concern, Mary Sue, shook her head and placed the book on the table between them. Glancing around the crowded restaurant, it seemed that no one had heard her comment. "You really shouldn't say things like that out loud, especially in public."

"Occupational hazard." Amanda said plainly as she sipped her hot chocolate. "My characters talk to me."

"Yes, well normal people don't have conversations with people in their heads, even if it does make writing easier. Also, normal people don't understand you.'' Mary Sue whispered.

"You're the one that insisted I meet you at the cafe for a drink." Amanda reminded her friend. "You said I needed to get out more."

"Yes, well I had hoped you would leave the voices at home.'' the blonde frowned.

Sighing, Amanda brushed her dark hair behind her ear. "The boys are always with me. Lord knows Jareth won't shut up."

"Alright I get that the voices are characters you write about, but why are they all male? The main character of your book is female. Doesn't she talk?" Mary Sue inquired.

"The Princess and all my female leads don't talk because I'm them. I write myself in as them." Amanda explained. "It's fun to be the heroine."

"You just want to be Sarah and get the Goblin King" Mary Sue teased.

"Who doesn't?" Amanda smirked.

Shaking her head, the blonde stood and gathered her things. "I have to run, but I'm leaving the book with you. Read it." She glared. "I don't care if it's in bed, the bath, on the toilet, or on your breaks at lunch, just read the book. You'll love it. Maybe it'll give you some inspiration and, can't believe I'm saying this, a new voice to listen to.''

"You just want me to write you a smutty fanfic."

"Won't complain if you do." She grinned. "Read it!" she called over her shoulder as she dashed for the door.

Amanda watched her friend leave. " Read it in the bed or the bath, she says. " She scoffed. "But that's when I write smut for Jareth."

Picking up the book and examined it. The cover was black with an image of two hands holding a red apple on it. "Twilight." She mumbled as she ran her finger over the title. "I've probably had to suffer through worse in school." Amanda tossed the book in her bag and headed out, her nearly empty cup of hot chocolate in hand.

Walking down the streets, she admired the twinkle lights, holly, and trees that decorated the shops. There were couples holding hands as they walked down the street and children building snowmen. Pulling her winter coat tighter around her body, Amanda hurried home to relax for the rest of the day.  
Entering her small apartment, the young author flicked on the light and placed her bag down after locking the door. Looking around she smiled at the life-size posters of Jareth around the room. "I'm home your majesty."

She grinned. Amanda lived alone and her the only people she had to talk to most of the time were the characters she wrote about. While Jareth the Goblin King wasn't her creation, he had been her childhood crush and she enjoyed writing fanfiction for him. It was stress relief for her and allowed her to, in a way, live out her childhood fantasies. She didn't understand why, but finishing a story about Jareth filled her with a greater sense of accomplishment than finishing one of her original stories ever did.

After changing into her pajamas, she turned on the Christmas lights, dimmed the main lights, and made herself comfortable on the couch. Grabbing Mary Sue's book from her bag, she pulled her Santa blanket over herself and decided to try reading.

After reading the first paragraph, Amanda groaned. "Great, it's first-person. I hate first-person stories. Why did Mary Sue think I would enjoy this?" She asked the empty room. Despite her dislike for the point of view, she continued reading down the page, hoping it was worth her time.

By the time she finally reached the end of chapter 1, she was ready to throw the book out the window. "This is a national bestseller?" She tossed her blanket aside and made her way to the kitchen. "Now I need chocolate." She rummaged through her cabinets until she found some leftover Halloween candy. After 4 mini Snickers, 2 Reese's cups, and a large tootsie roll, Amanda returned to the couch with a large glass of eggnog.  
"If I knew that was what people wanted to read I would have published my diary, at least that has some steamy parts." She said to herself as she settled on the couch again. Please let this get better the further I read." She quietly pleaded. Opening the book to chapter 2, she forced herself to keep reading.

~*~*~/.../~*~*~

While Amanda silently read, in what she thought was an empty room, two small goblins sat on the table by her and listened to her groan at how horrible the book was. "If book so crappy, why lady reads it?" The brown goblin called Fudgy questioned.

Grump, the chubby green goblin at his side shrugged. They knew she couldn't see or hear them, most mortals couldn't. "She should writes more instead of reads bad book." Fudgy nodded in agreement.

They continued watching her, but both looked at the other when they heard her say, "If this is what sells, maybe I should give up writing. I don't think I'm able to write anything this dull and boring."

"Oh, noes!" Grump cried. "Lady can't stops writing.''

"We needs to tell Kingy," Fudgy said as he hopped off the table. Grump followed and together they hurried home to the castle beyond the Goblin City.

~*~*~/.../~*~*~

King Jareth sat in his study, reading the newest holiday story from one of his scribes. He always found their stories amusing and some even gave him some interesting ideas of things to try with his Queen, especially the stories from the scribes he called his citrus Queens.

His scribes provided more than entertainment though, they provided magic. The stories his scribes wrote kept his Kingdom alive, for the greatest power is that of belief. The world had moved on, as it often did, and people no longer believed in magic or those that live in the Underground. While humans weren't necessary for survival, most magical beings found them useful and entertaining, Jareth was no exception. He loved hearing stories about himself.

His reading was interrupted by the appearance of 2 frantic goblins. "Kingy! Kingy!" they shouted.

"Quiet!" He bellowed. "Now this better be important. You know you're not allowed to simply appear in my study."

"Kingy, Lady say she not going to writes anymore." Grump quickly explained

"What?" Jareth stood. "One of my scribes is no longer writing? Why?"

"She reads poopy book and says she not good enough," Fudgy told him.

"Well, that won't do at all." He grabbed his cloak. "Which of my scribes was it?"

"Pretty Lady." Grump grinned.

"You're so helpful,'' Jareth said sarcastically. "They're all pretty ladies." He shook his head. "What was the last story she wrote?" Jareth inquired.

Grump pulled a crumpled paper from his pocket and handed it to the King. "Lady wrote yesterdays."

Jareth smoothed out the page and read it. "I know this writing, its Miss Amanda. Why on Earth would she doubt her skill?" He looked at the clueless goblins who stood there silently. "I shall find the cause of her distress and eliminate it." Before either goblin could blink, the King was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** I do not apologize for the nonsense that is this chapter or all the movie and tv show references. I tried to see how many I could work in. I managed 18. Can anyone find them all?

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Jareth, (wish I did) Sarah, or any other character from Labyrinth. They belong to Henson and everyone responsible for creating the movie. I write this solely for entertainment and stress relief.

 **Chapter 2**

By the time Jareth arrived at Amanda's small apartment, she had fallen asleep on her couch, the book still open on her chest. Carefully, so as not to wake her, he removed the book from her hands and looked it over. "Twilight." He cringed. "Not this blasted book again. What do the mortals see in this?" He sat it down on the table and sat on the edge of the couch beside his sleeping scribe. "You doubt your skills over that garbage?" Shaking his head, Jareth summoned a crystal and placed it in her hands. "No more of that dear little scribe. Dream now, and see how truly wonderful you are."

The crystal glowed in Amanda's hands as Jareth's magic began to work and he summoned a second to his hand to watch the dream his scribe was having. While the magic would give her pleasant dreams, he wanted to be sure it was of him and his Kingdom, not some sparkly insult to vampires.

~*~*~*~/…/~*~*~*~

Amanda saw herself running down a dark woodland path. She was dressed in winter clothes as she had been earlier that day. The further she ran, the brighter her surroundings became. Soon she saw the most beautiful sight she had ever seen; rolling hills covered in snow, children sledding down the hills, snowmen everywhere, and in the distance, she could see the Labyrinth, just as she had envisioned it. She could see the Castle beyond the Goblin City and felt her heart begin to flutter.

"Are you just going to stand there?" a deep voice asked from behind her.

Turning, her eyes grew wide as she found herself before the Goblin King. "You… you're him aren't you?"

Jareth smirked and stepped closer to the young brunette. "Hello, Amanda dear. Welcome to my Kingdom."

"But how?"

"Its what you always dreamed of isn't dear little scribe? Seeing the Labyrinth and the castle. Consider it a Yule gift." The King explained.

"Yule gift?" She wasn't asking what that was as she knew all about Yule and that the pagan celebrations for the winter solstice were where almost all the current Christmas traditions came from. She meant to ask him why she was getting a gift from him, the Goblin King of all people, but the words got caught in her throat as she was still awestruck at being with the King.

"I believe you mortals would call it a Christmas gift." Jareth corrected. "Consider it a reward for being such a loyal scribe."

"Scribe? "she tilted her head in confusion.

"One who documents stories and spreads them for all to read. Your stories help keep my Kingdom alive." Jareth told her. "Now come enjoy my Kingdom while you can. I'm afraid your time here is short." He placed his hand on her shoulder and walked her towards where the children were sledding; only they weren't children.

"Are those…?"  
"Goblins. Yes, those are my subjects and they are basically children, simple-minded and easily amused. Go on and play with them. They love having fun." He said as he gave her a gentle push towards the hill.

Glancing over her shoulder, she saw him nod and motion for her to go. Smiling she ran over to the goblins and soon they were having a giant snowball fight with the snowmen that Jareth brought to life. She wasn't sure how long she played with the goblins, chasing them and throwing snowballs, but when she looked for the Goblin King he was nowhere in sight.

"What wrong Lady." A grey goblin asked when he noticed she had stopped chasing him.

"Oh, I was looking for the King." She told him.

"Kingy went back to castle." A little blue female goblin informed her.

"Oh." Amanda frowned. She had hoped to spend more time with Jareth.

"Lady wants us to takes her to Kingy?" A third goblin asked.

"Would you please?" Amanda's eyes lit up.

"Sure but he may be having nakie time wit Queenie so might not sees him for bit"

"There's a Goblin Queen?'' Amanda grinned.

"Course we has Queenie."

"Yeah, Kingy no has nakie time or makes babies by his self."

"He has children?" Amanda was ecstatic to hear how close reality was to her stories. "Who's the Queen? How many children do they have?" She began questioning the goblins as they led her towards the Labyrinth, with one small snowman following close behind. They answered the best they could, but some things were beyond their comprehension.

Soon they reached the main gate and the goblins all pushed against it trying to open it. Amanda watched them struggle and looked around. "Are you sure this is the right place?"

The goblins stopped and looked around. "Maybe." They said together.

"Maybe its a pull instead of push door." the little snowman suggested.

She studied the wall and thought about what she knew of the Labyrinth from the book and the movie.

"Is the Labyrinth really alive or does it move because of the King's magic?" she asked. Both were theories many fanfic writers, herself included, had used in their stories.

"Labyrinth is magic." The little blue goblin answered.

"Yeah, it keeps us safe." A grey goblin added.

"It likes to play tricks too." A chubby brown goblin said as he rubbed his head.  
Nodding, Amanda placed her hand against its wall. "Labyrinth, the King said I'm a scribe. I write stories about you and the King and the goblins. Please, may we enter and make our way to the castle?"

A moment later the gate opened and the goblins cheered as they raced inside. "Lady, gobbies, follow me!" A skinny green goblin cried. "I knows the way!" He dashed off to left and after going about 3 feet, he disappeared into the ground.

"Oh noes!" the little female goblin cried. "Dumb Dumb falls into oubliette."

"Dumb Dumb gots lost in his own museum once." One goblin said with a sigh.

Amanda and the others approached slowly, but the trapdoor had already closed "I guess we should go the other way." Nodding, the goblins held on to her pants and walked the other way with her.

The goblins helped her find the openings in the wall and they carefully choose a path to take. Each time they took a new path, one goblin volunteered to go first to check for trap doors. "Don't worry Lady." a brown goblin, who said his name was Fudgy, told her. "We falls into oubliettes all the times."

"Yeah, Kingy always gets us out, eventually."

By the time they reached the forest, only 2 goblins and the little snowman remained at her side, Fudgy and a chubby green goblin named Grump. The two goblins hugged her legs, making it hard to walk. "Are you afraid?"

"A little," Grump admitted.

The little snowman looked at the goblins and then Amanda. "Is there something we should be afraid of?"

"I don't know," Amanda answered. "It is dark and kind of creepy though."

"Sorry, Lady." Fudgy hung his head. "We not doing very good jobs watching outs for you."

Amanda knelt and hugged them both. "It's ok to be afraid. Take my hands and we'll all be brave and do it together."

Both goblins took one of her hands and slowly the group made their way deeper into the forest. None of them noticed they were being followed.

Glancing up, Amanda smiled. "The moon is gorgeous tonight."

"That's no moon," Fudgy said.

"It's not?" Amanda was very confused.

"What's it is?" Grump asked.

Fudgy shrugged. "No clue. What's a moon anyway?"

Amanda shook her head and chuckled at the silly goblins as they forgot all about their fears. When they reached a clearing the group stopped to take a break. The little snowman entertained them with a song and dance while they rested. When his song was over they all jumped when they heard clapping behind them.

"Well, that was unexpected."

They turned to see a tall man standing by a tree. His skin was deathly pale, whiter than the snow the little snowman was made of, and there were dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn't slept in days.

Amanda stood, and though they were trembling, the little goblins stood in front intent on protecting her. "Hello, who might you be?" she tried to sound cheerful.

The man smiled. "Your devoted servant." He bowed to her. "You had me at hello lovely lady. Please tell me your name." He reached out and took her hand in his, despite the protest of the goblins.

"My god, your hands are like ice." Amanda Pulled her hand away and took her jacket off and offered it to the stranger.

"I'm fine, really." He argued as she put the jacket over his shoulders.

"You're freezing." Amanda looked at the goblins and the snowman. "Gather wood, we need to make a fire."

The goblins looked the man over with suspicion in their eyes but gathered all the wood they could find. Amanda quickly made a fire and had the man sit by it. "Your kindness is as great as your beauty." He said as he smiled at her.

The goblins and the little snowman sat between Amanda and the stranger. "Careful," Amanda warned as she pushed the snowman away from the flames. "If you get too close you'll melt."

Hugging her, the snowman smiled. "Some people are worth melting for."

"And I thought the vampire was bad."

The group turned to see the Goblin King leaning against a tree. "Kingy!" Both goblins exclaimed as they leapt to their feet and rushed to embrace their ruler.

"Enough." He scolded as he gently kicked free of their grips on his legs. Looking at Amanda, Jareth shook his head. "As for you little scribe, I left you playing in the field and come back to find you and my goblins missing."

"Oh, the goblins..."

"Are back at the castle." Jareth said, cutting her off. "I already found and rescued them from the oubliettes. Whatever possessed you to enter the Labyrinth?"

"The goblins said they could take me to the castle." Amanda explained.

"We warned her that you and Queenie might be having nakie time." Grump added.

"Nakie time?" The stranger questioned.  
Jareth smirked. "Something a creature like you need not concern yourself with. Its very unlikely you will ever enjoy such pleasures."

"Creature?" Amanda looked from the King to the stranger by the fire.

"Yes, our guest likes to think he's a vampire." Jareth stated, earning a glare from the stranger.

"I am a vampire." He spat.

Chuckling, the Kings sat by Amanda. "Tell me, my scribe, what do you know of vampires?"  
Amanda thought a moment. "Well there are lots of myths and legends. They are said to be undead and feed on the blood of the living. Some stories say they can be killed by a wooden stake through the heart. Other say to behead or drown them."

"Can we stop talking about how to kill me?"

"Very well." Jareth summoned a crystal to his hand. "Tell me, Amanda, do vampires sparkle?"

"What?" she laughed. "Sparkle? You mean, like you?"

Laughing lightly, the King juggled the crystal in his hands. "No, I simply shimmer from the residue of the magic I use. I'm asking you if vampires sparkle like a disco ball in sunlight."

Unable to contain it, Amanda doubled over laughing. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." She said as she held her stomach.

"Vamps no sparkle.'' Fudgy made a face as he glared at the stranger.

A deep growl escaped his throat as he shot a death glare at the Goblin King. "Watch it faerie boy."

"Boy?" Jareth stood. "I've been around long before you were created and I shall continued to rule long after you fade into distant memory."

"Girls love me." He argued.

"Only little girls?" Jareth grinned evilly. "I have fans and scribes of all ages, sexes, races, and species. Your pathetic fan club doesn't impress me.'' He held his handout to Amanda. "Come my dear. Allow me to give you a tour of the Labyrinth."

"Alright." She took the King's hand and they left the pissed off sparkly Vamp by the fire, which went out there minute they were out of sight thanks to the little snowman throwing snow on it.

Jareth took her deeper into the forest where they found Ludo and Sir Didymus on patrol. After a brief chat with the rock caller and the little Knight, they ran into the fireries. Amanda was a little nervous at first, but knew she was safe with the King there. The five hyperactive creatures bounced around and juggled their detachable appendages.

Things started getting crazy when one jokingly commented about taking off her head.  
Before Amanda or the Goblin King could react, the strange Vampire from before grabbed her hand and said, "Come with me if you want to live." He pulled her behind him as he ran from the firery camp. Jareth appeared in front of them and the vampire collided with him and fell back, landing hard on his ass.

The King caught Amanda in his arms before she fell. Shaking his head, Jareth stared at the dazed vampire. "Really now? I suppose next you intend to tell her to get to the chopper?"

"Those things would have killed her!" He shouted as he stood.

"She was in no danger, especially with me standing there. She's in more danger with you than any creature in my kingdom." Jareth's voice was laced with venom as he held his scribe.

"I would never have let any harm come to her."

"She was never yours to protect." Jareth replied as he turned, taking Amanda with him.

"Maybe his head comes off." One of the fieries said as they tackled the vampire.

As Jareth led her out of the woods, Amanda heard screams and shouting behind them. "Is he going to be alright?"

Giving her a soft smile, The Goblin King nodded. "Yes, sadly he's a lot harder to kill than I'd like."

"Why would you want him dead?"

Before he could answer, Amanda was swept into a pair a cold arms and whisked away at great speeds as the vampire ran with her. When he finally stopped, he placed her down gently and brushed her dark hair from her face. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, but what is going on? I don't even know your name, yet you keep trying to get me away from the King."

A shiver ran down her spine as he caressed he cheek with his icy fingers. "Call me whatever you like sweet angel."

Pulling away from him, Amanda wrapped her arms around herself. "Well you do look a little like my cousin Eddie, so I guess I'll call you Ed unless you want to tell me your real name."

"His name is going to be dead man if he continues trying to kidnap my scribe."

They both turned to see a fuming Goblin King approaching. "Majesty." Amanda rushed to his side.

"Are you alright my dear?" Jareth asked as he took off his cloak and wrapped it around her.

"I'm fine, though I'm not sure what's going on here. Why are you and Ed fighting over me?"

"Apologies my dear." Jareth bowed his head to her. "You are my dear scribe and I am your humble King, and as such it is my duty to protect you from menaces like him. I must ensure your safety, both physically and mentally."

"Some King you are!" Ed spat. "You Iet wild and dangerous creatures run free, but you trap innocent and defenseless ones." He walked over to a nearby trap. "what harm has this poor animal done to deserve being in a box?'' He opened the trap and pulled out a white rabbit.

"Put the bunny back in the box." Jareth warned.

"I will not. This rabbit is harmless and..." Before Ed could finish his sentence the rabbit opened its mouth to reveal razor sharp fangs and clamped down on his arm, causing him to run around screaming as he tried to shake it off.

Jareth sighed. "Why couldn't you put the bunny back in the box?" Shaking his head, he turned to Amanda. "The goblins have been trying to catch that rabbit for weeks. Its been killing anything it can. They'll be so upset to find someone tampered with their trap."

As they continued their tour of the Labyrinth, it seemed Ed the sparkly vampire was there no matter where they went or what happened to him. Jareth showed Amanda the tunnels under the Labyrinth and Ed was in the sewer under them. He reached his hand through the grate and grabbed her leg.

Jareth stepped on his hand, making him release her. "Let me guess, you all float down there? Not yet, but you will once Elvis gets done with you." He smirked.

"What?" Ed didn't have time to wonder what Jareth meant as he was pulled under water by a 50 foot gator.

The first couple of times that something bad happened to Ed, Amanda worried about his safety, but after the 4th time she began to see it was incredibly hard to hurt him. She also began to understand why he annoyed Jareth. After repeatedly being asked by Amanda, and ordered by Jareth, to leave her be, Ed still continued to try and steal her from the Goblin King. The final straw for Jareth happened while showing Amanda the Cliffs of Insanity. As Jareth was explaining the strategic value of the cliffs, Ed ran by, grabbed Amanda's hand, pulled her behind him as he ran for the cliffs, and shouted, "Come on, just like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid."

"Inconceivable!" Jareth yelled as he watched the sparkly menace dive off the cliff with his scribe. Quickly changing into a gigantic barn owl, Jareth swooped down and caught his scribe on his large back. Not wanting to risk the abomination that called himself a vampire trying something again, Jareth finished their tour in flight. He flew over his entire Kingdom, letting Amanda see it all from the sky.

When he finally landed, they were in the Goblin City in front of the main gate to the castle and a horde of goblins were waiting for them. "Kingy!" they cried when he changed back into his true form.

"What is it?" He asked as he looked around at his subjects.

"Weird people at the gate to the city." one goblin explained.

"People at the gate?'' Jareth quickly summoned a crystal to his hand. "That blasted fool doesn't know when to give up." He muttered as he tossed the crystal over his shoulder before he headed for the gate, now suddenly dressed in full battle gear.

A brown goblin holding an unlit candle, who was standing behind the King, caught the crystal and looked into it. "Sacre Bleu! Invaders!" He shouted before throwing the crystal and running away.

Amanda picked up the discarded crystal and gazed into it and saw Ed and several others at the gate to the city. "Who are the men with Ed?" she asked the King as she ran to catch up with him.

"Werewolves." He replied through gritted teeth.

At the gate Ed and four bare chested men stood ready for battle. "Goblin King!" Ed shouted. "Release the girl!"

All five backed away when the gate opened. Jareth stepped out to meet them. "You were warned to stay away from my scribe. Leave now and I'll spare your life."

Amanda peaked out from behind the King. Ed smiled when he saw her. "Fear not fair maiden. I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down."

"Yes, yes..."Jareth interrupted. "Now go run around because I'm the one that won't desert her."

"Never!" Ed cried before he lunged at the King.

Jareth pushed Amanda out of the way and so on had all five on him. "Nooo!" Amanda cried.

"Watch out Lady!" several goblins cried. Amanda turned to see several goblins carrying a cannon.

"I gets him!" the tiny cannon ball goblin exclaimed as he climbed in the cannon.

"Just don'ts miss this time Fodder." a second goblin said.

"Ready?" a large goblin asked as he looked in the cannon.

"Ready!" Fodder answered and the large goblin moved to the back of the cannon.

"Wait!" Amanda cried. "You'll hit the King."

"Nonsense." A female voice said behind her. "They won't fire until he gives the signal."

Amanda turned to see a beautiful woman in a long emerald green dress walking towards her. "Are you...?"

Sarah smiled. "The Goblin Queen? Yes I am dear scribe." She held her hand out to Amanda who took it after a moment of hesitation. "Now watch and see the might of our King."

Amanda looked back and saw Jareth throw them all of him. "Fools did you really think you could defeat me?" Jareth laughed. "You can't beat me now and you never will."

"The King said now." The large goblin by the cannon said as he lit it.

Sarah tried to stop him, but it was too late. "Jareth watch out!" she called out just before the cannon went off.

Jareth turned in time to see the flash of these cannon and hit the ground. Fodder was shot out of the cannon with a loud bang! and collided with Ed. "I hit something?" Fodder asked as he kicked his legs in the air.

"I've been shot!" Ed cried in a voice so high pitched it sounded like he inhaled helium.

"Idiots!" Jareth shouted as he got up. "I didn't give the signal."

"Actually you did my love." Sarah smirked. "Deal with the invaders and then the goblins."

Jareth smiled and bowed to her. "As you wish my Queen." He turned and found 4 giant wolves snarling at him. Summoning a crystal he threw it at them and it exploded with a shower of glitter over their heads. When the glitter cloud cleared, the four vicious wolves had been turned into four fluffy little puppies. "That's better." He grinned.

Ed groaned from where he was laying on the ground, hands cradling his wounded manhood. As Jareth walked over to him, Sarah and Amanda rushed over to see what he would do. "Is this the sparkling vampire I heard about?" Sarah asked.

"He's the poorest excuse for a vampire I've ever heard of."

Sitting up, Ed grinned. "Ah, but you have heard of me."

"Are you going to kill him?" Amanda asked.

"Mercy is the mark of a great man, dear scribe." Jareth told her before kicking Ed in the gut. "Guess I'm just a good man." He shrugged and then threw a crystal at him. Ed disappeared and when Jareth picked the crystal up, Amanda saw Ed trapped inside. "Well, I'm all right." Jareth smirked.

"What shall we do with him?" Sarah inquired.

"A couple thousand years at the bottom of the Bog of Eternal stench outta chill him out." Jareth said as he pulled his arm back and threw the crystal.

Amanda watched the crystal fly into the sky. When she looked back to the King he was embracing his Queen. Amanda smiled at how happy they looked together. Sarah pulled away from his arms and gave Amanda a gentle smile. "It was a pleasure to meet you my scribe, even if it was only briefly."

"What?" Amanda looked from Sarah to Jareth.

The King nodded and gently hugged his scribe. "I'm afraid your time is up my dear." He kissed her forehead and then everything went black.

~*~*~*~/…/~*~*~*~

Amanda awoke to find herself stretched out on her couch with a warm blanket over her. Sitting up, she looked around. The lights from her tree were the only thing illuminating the room, but that was enough for her to see the book she had been reading along with the glass of eggnog she had been drinking were missing. "Was that just a dream?"

Throwing the blanket to the side, she stood and looked around the apartment. Everything seemed to be in its proper place, though she wasn't sure how her glass made it to the kitchen, or where the gifts under the tree came from. "That was just eggnog I had right?" She asked herself as she tried to remember if she had added any alcohol to it or not.

Curious about the gift, she found there had no names on them but there was a card attached to one. Slowly opening the card, Amanda held her breath. Inside was a plain white card with gold boarders. "Merry Christmas little scribe. Never think that you aren't good enough, for you are gifted and your writing creates magic."

As she finished reading, the card slipped from her hand and fell to the floor. "It was real. All of it…"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Final chapter to this silly tale. Hope at least some of you have enjoyed it. I'll be getting back to work on OSABCoB and TCaQ now. Hopefully no more distractions, well other than my book which I really need to get back to. I want book done published this year, so if I don't update for a bit it means I'm busy with my book. Thanks, everyone that reads, reviews and supports me. It means a lot to me. And a huge thanks to my good friend and conspirator, Jediavenger, who provided most of the names for this fic along with a few movie quotes.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Jareth, (wish I did) Sarah, or any other character from Labyrinth. They belong to Henson and everyone responsible for creating the movie. I write this solely for entertainment and stress relief.

 **Chapter 3**

Jareth sat in his study, crystal in hand, watching his scribe open her gifts. The smile on her face upon seeing the notebook and pen set warmed his heart. Over the years he had come to think of his scribes as extended family. He often thought of bringing them all to the Underground and offering them citizenship in his Kingdom.

"You know if you keep revealing yourself to the scribes they're going to start wishing themselves away just to come see you." The Goblin Queen said as she entered the room.  
Looking up, Jareth grinned. "Worried that you might have competition for my affections, my love?" he teased as he made the crystal vanish.

"After all this time I highly doubt that will be an issue," Sarah stated as she sat on the edge of his desk.

"Oh?" His already arched eyebrow raised higher in curiosity. "Oh, what gave you that impression, Precious?" He questioned as his hand slid up her leg slowly, the fabric of her dress bunching up above his hand as he exposed the soft flesh underneath.

"Oh, maybe the fact that you can't keep your hands off and our daily, as the goblins call it, nakie time." She smirked as she ran her fingers along his jaw.

Chuckling, the king shook his head. "Still don't have the faintest idea where they got that from." Before Sarah could respond, Jareth pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her.

"Perhaps from the many times, one of them walked into find us naked in various parts of the castle because someone," she paused to kiss his nose, "Didn't bother to lock the door."

"You mean like this?" He waved his hand at the door and it slammed shut and the click of the lock echoed in the room. He tilted his head and gave his wife a Cheshire Cat grin.

Chuckling, Sarah shook her head. "Yes just like that. Thank the gods you figured that out once the children learned to walk."

"Yes, well while the occasional traumatized goblin didn't bother me, the first time our daughter came into our bedroom during our..." He paused to kiss her lips as his hands began to undo the ties on her dress. "playtime," He smirked as her dress fell from her shoulders. "Well let's just say it wasn't a pleasant experience for me."

"Just be glad we don't have a dog."

"Do I even dare to ask why?"

Sarah moved so that she was straddling him ran her hands down his chest and leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "Just imagine you and me completely naked."

Jareth closed his eyes and a shiver ran down his spine when she licked his ear. "Mmm... sounds delightful love." He purred as his hands rubbed down her back, kneading the muscles gently.

Grinding her hips against him, she continued. "Our bodies entwined as we let our passions run wild." She smiled as Jareth groaned as she rotated her hips against him creating a delicious friction. "You buried so deep inside me, our breathing labored as we both near our climax."

"Oh, Sarah..." He signed her name as he kissed her neck.

Carefully, so Jareth wouldn't notice, Sarah summoned a crystal to her hand. "Then just as your about to cum..."

"Yes?"

"Then you suddenly feel a cold wet nose against your ass!'' Sarah cried out as she pulled back quickly and broke the crystal over his head, dousing him with ice water.

Jareth sat there, eyes wide in shock as his wife ran to the other side of the room, giggling. "You little vixen." He growled as he stood, water dripping from his golden hair.

"Catch me if you can Goblin King." She taunted as she fixed her dress and dashed out of the room.

"Challenge accepted my Queen," Jareth said before running after her.

~*~*~*~/.../~*~*~*~

Hours later after Jareth had caught his Queen and thoroughly ravished her, they laid in bed, wrapped in each other's arms. Sarah was napping, exhausted from their game of chase and the activities that followed, and Jareth laid there staring at the flames dancing in the fireplace. He was in deep thought as his hand played with Sarah's hair.

Amanda wasn't the first scribe that faced trouble. Several had doubted their abilities and he was sad to say he had even lost a few. One or two went on to write original stories, others found new fandoms to obsess over, particularly an odd thing called Superwholock, and it broke his heart, but a few had passed beyond the veil.

Feeling Sarah shift in his arms, he glanced down and kissed her forehead. "Trouble sleeping, my love?" He inquired when she looked up at him.

"I was about to ask you the same thing." She stated as she sat up. "Everything alright?"

Nodding, he sighed. "I was just thinking."

"About the scribes?"

"Yes," was all he said as he returned to gazing into the fire.

"Jareth, the Kingdom is safe. There are more than enough scribes and readers to keep the magic alive and let it flourish. So what is wrong?" Sarah inquired.

"Something is wrong. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I'm certain it involves our beloved scribes and I worry for their well-being." He explained.

"You think someone or something is going after scribes?" Sarah asked as she sat up. "Not the sparkly vampires from that book. They aren't real."

"I know very well they aren't and Harvey would be furious if he ever read that." He commented. "Vampires that sparkle in the sun and werewolves that are allergic to shirts... Bah, complete and total rubbish."

"Then what could threaten the scribes?"

"I honestly don't know Precious. I do know that until I'm sure they are in no danger I plan to watch over them closely."

Nodding, Sarah took his hand in hers and held it close. "We all will. Whatever this threat maybe we will face it together."

Jareth caressed her cheek with his free hand. "What would I do without you?"

"You'll never have to find out," Sarah replied before kissing him.

As the Goblin King returned his Queen's affections, he smiled. Whatever danger may appear would be no match for them. Together he and Sarah would defend the Labyrinth, their kingdom, their subjects, their scribes, and their children, all of which they looked at as their home and family.


End file.
